Stress and my Cancer Diagnosis

Stress and my Cancer Diagnosis

Cancer Diagnosis Anniversary April is National Stress Awareness Month. It also happens to be the month I was officially diagnosed with lymphoma. It’s the month I found out I had cancer. Months of stress culminated in a cancer crisis in what apparently is a month […]

Healthy Dark Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Bites – Sugar-Free Better Than Reese’s Eggs!

Healthy Dark Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Bites – Sugar-Free Better Than Reese’s Eggs!

Chocolate and Peanut Butter: The Best of Both Worlds When this time of year rolls around, I get nostalgic for my childhood. The Easter egg hunts, dying the easter Eggs, the cute little Easter dresses, the chocolate rabbits, the jelly beans…. oh and those peanut […]

Keto Fail: Starting Bulletproof, Keto, and IF at the Wrong Time of the Month

Keto Fail: Starting Bulletproof, Keto, and IF at the Wrong Time of the Month

Going Keto: Learning the Hard Way

After being a vegetarian for over eight years followed by a crazy diagnosis, I’ve dabbled with different diets to see what works best for me. I can’t say I’ve tried it ‘all,’ but I’ve certainly been around the block with many of these diets. But I haven’t quite gone full keto.

I went raw vegan for a spell, then turned paleo, but perhaps a more palegan version of the paleo diet. Or pegan – aka super heavy on the plants, a little bit of animal protein. I’ve done the anti-candida no sugar no carb diet, and dabbled with keto here and there. I’ve also relaxed and ‘cheated’ on occasion on each of these diets. I’ve also been playing with Intermittent Fasting to see how that goes down.

Part of this experimentation stems from personal health motivations, part of it is out of personal curiosity, and part of it from professional predilection to research and experiment and dive in to the ‘data.’

key lime avocado mousse sugar-free vegan dairy-free raw dessert recipe

My Ketogenic Diet Experiment

I decided to put myself through a proper ketogenic diet experiment to see if I could see and feel the benefits of it first-hand. As a health coach, it helps to know beyond just theory. Plus, I’ve dabbled with it in the past and generally speaking already eat pretty low carb. So I figured the transition shouldn’t be too terrible.

The tricky part would be the chocolate. No question, if there was something I knew might cause the destruction of this experiment, it would be chocolate.

But I dove in and got my organic pasture raised eggs and avocados all lined up. I also really wanted to experiment with a no meat, no dairy, and potentially even completely vegan version of keto. Could it be done with ‘relative’ ease?

Restricting your diet is never easy, but an extreme diet like that would certainly require a high level of diligence and dedication. Since I’m already low carb and low on the animal protein, I figured the test and transition wouldn’t be too extreme for me to try. Evidence suggests that the ketogenic diet could be a powerful way to help fight and heal certain diseases, so I figured it would be worth the experimental efforts.

bulletproof coffee

Going Keto, Bulletproof Style

I began with a bulletproof coffee in the morning. I even got the Bulletproof brand coffee (which supposedly has no mycotoxins) and I already had a bottle of the Brain Octane MCT oil that I’d purchased (on sale) a year prior in a previous half-hearted bulletproof trial run. I also had a jar of grass fed ghee in my cabinet, so I was sorted. If I was going to experiment, I might as well do it ‘right.’

I added some of the Bulletproof approved add-ins like collagen peptides, cinnamon, a little bit of organic cacao powder, and even a little cardamom to boost the nutritional benefits of the butter coffee. The idea is you replace breakfast with the bulletproof coffee and eat the rest of your daily calories within a restricted number of hours. Which is basically intermittent fasting. Since the coffee is mostly fat, it’s also a very coffee-lovers keto-friendly way to get MCT fat calories in.

Both the bulletproof coffee and the ketogenic diet supposedly help you feel more focused and energetic throughout your day. Between the lingering fatigue and chemo brain from treatment, I figured this would be an excellent thing for me to test out.

cauliflower mash vegan paleo dairy-free keto

Cauliflower Mash – Three Ways

Derailed by Chocolate – Or Something Else?

Drinking the coffee and holding off to eat until midday (the intermittent fasting component) wasn’t hard. Neither was eating low carb, since I tend to eat this way anyway. But I did experience some intense chocolate cravings – and yes it could have been the sugar itself I was craving. Day one I got a little derailed by a chocolate binge. I figured it was like my transition day – Day two would be easier. But then the same thing happened.

Unfortunately, as it turns out, I was right: it was the chocolate that got in the way. But I was also actually wrong – it wasn’t actually the ‘chocolate,’ it was the underlying cause of the craving itself. The truth is, the realities of being a woman kicked me hard in the butt.

Day three I woke up feeling absolutely miserable – I literally felt like a ton of bricks. Could this be the dreaded keto flu? This was surely a piece of the overall picture. But on top of that, I got my monthly visitor, and – duh! – I realized that possible low blood sugar issues aside, this was probably the primary source of those intense chocolate cravings and why I was feeling like crap.

avocado chocolate mousseMocha Avocado Mousse: Vegan Sugar-Free Chocolate Mousse Recipe

Keto Flu or Feminine Issues?

So I just gave in and ate my (sugar-free) chocolate avocado mousse topped with a bit more dark chocolate. But then I also began to experience chills, shakes, and – shockingly – nausea. Good lord I’ve never felt so awful before in my life due to my cycle. I have a strong stomach. I rarely experience nausea.

This was certainly more than that. Keto was clearly not helping, nor the chocolate. The combination of it all was brutal. All my body wanted at that point was a meatball. But it also felt like all it wanted to do was regurgitate the contents of my stomach. And I still had my yoga class to teach that evening.

I raided the pantry for some ginger tea and thank goodness my stomach began to settle. The class went smoothly, but yep immediately afterward I went straight to the Whole Foods hot bar and found a tray of giant meatballs. I got my meatball, paid, and immediately sat down to eat that meat.

I did feel better. But I realized this meatless, possibly even fish-free and egg-free version of keto might cause some unforeseen difficulties. Particularly since I apparently had to factor in female considerations.

Giving In but Not Giving Up

So I’m taking a couple days off of the full-on keto plan to let my body do it’s thing, and then I’ll regroup. Day four I was consciously off keto, yet still more or less doing IF. I still stuck to an overall low sugar, higher fat diet. But I woke up that morning bloated and throughout the day a substantial headache kicked in – another extreme rarity for me. I slept well after Day four, yet Day five I’m still feeling pretty tired.

The reality is, keto aside, my hormones still seem to be a bit out of whack. My body is still re-regulating. It seems I am overall just extra sensitive now. So keto at this time was definitely not a great idea. But I’ve heard and read that once you go keto, it can actually help your hormones regulate.

balance balanced chick

Lessons Learned

To be sure, I have considered that maybe keto isn’t actually right for me. But at this point I’ve hardly given my body a chance to transition, so I still don’t have a fair read on how it impacts me. Low carb seems to work pretty well for me, but full on keto is a different ballgame. And the potential benefits of keto are certainly alluring. The jury’s still out, but I’ve learned a few things already:

  • Planning is key. Yes, going to the store and buying the right food and planning your meals is a key component of doing keto – or any dietary shift – right. But, planning any attempt to shift your diet, particularly keto, into your overall life schedule is equally important. As much as you might hear people say things like ‘the best day to start is today,’ certain things in life – especially diet and lifestyle change – do require a transition. You can’t/ shouldn’t do an extreme diet like keto from 0-100 overnight because it’s more likely you’ll fall off the wagon and/ or experience very unpleasant side effects. And if you’re sensitive or have health considerations, you’ll need to be extra careful. Most people do experience the keto flu in the first couple days, or up to a week, as their bodies transition into fat burning mode, so don’t try to go keto right before an important day or event in your life! Finally, ladies, don’t try to go keto right before your period! Hormones have a real impact. Don’t mess with them.
  • Bulletproof coffee is energizing. While I have only a couple days of full on keto under my belt, I’ve been doing the bulletproof coffee for closer to a week. I honestly feel like the one cup does keep me revved all day. Is it necessary to consume it in this precise form to still reap the benefits? I’m not sure. I’m going to keep playing with that one.
  • Your body is the leader. The expert. The King. The Queen. Ok, so this is a lesson I’ve learned before, but it’s a lesson that bears repeating. No matter what health quest you might be on, you must always listen to what your body needs. To be clear, there is a distinct difference between what your body wants and what it truly needs. Chocolate cravings like mine mean more than ‘sugar.’ They mean ‘iron’ and ‘magnesium’ and other such nutrients like antioxidants, and even serotonin needs as monthly hormone cycles come into play, so learn the proper swaps to feed your body what it needs without falling back on what you think it wants. And what works for one person might not work for you, so when making any dietary changes tune in and let your body lead the way.
  • Optimal health is a moving target. As is diet. As humans, we are constantly changing and evolving; that goes for our health too, and diets along with it. Metabolism changes, and health situations may alter the way we react to a food, or how sensitive we are to particular ingredients. Life changes, circumstances change, we change; what we need may likely change in turn.

Stay tuned for more updates as I continue to report on my keto experiments. And if you’ve had experimented with the keto diet I’d love to hear your experiences – good and bad!

For some keto-friendly, plant-based recipes, check these out:


Spring and My Cancer Diagnosis Anniversary

Spring and My Cancer Diagnosis Anniversary

Not-So-Springlike Lack of Sunshine Killin My Vibe Happy Spring! Or at least that’s what the calendar tells me I should be saying. Reality: maybe not quite yet. I don’t know what winter’s deal is this year, but it definitely isn’t moving on without a fight. […]

Key Lime Avocado Mousse – Raw, Vegan, Dairy-Free, Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free 5-Ingredient Recipe

Key Lime Avocado Mousse – Raw, Vegan, Dairy-Free, Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free 5-Ingredient Recipe

Key Lime Pie Vibes I just spent nearly a week down in south Florida, and Saturday is St. Patrick’s Day. I’m pretty sure there could be no more perfect time to share this refreshing green recipe. Key lime pie is named after key limes from […]

How I Shift My Perspective

How I Shift My Perspective

In need of a little perspective

The other day I woke up with a super long day ahead of me. I had my scheduled planned out to the minute as I was scheduled to fly down to Florida yesterday for a desperately needed escape from winter.
But then the snowmaggedon forecast was updated – the brunt of the storm would hit in the hours before and after my flight was scheduled to depart. Not to mention I had a long overdue haircut scheduled for that morning. On top of that, I couldn’t find my favorite sunglasses anywhere. I’d need those in Florida. But more importantly, they have sentimental value – I purchased them in Tokyo soon after I arrived, so I’ve now had them for a decade. All of a sudden my morning was thrown off. My mind started spiraling into worry and anxiety.

Shift your Perspective, Shift your Mindset

I went to the gym and tried the local businesses I’d visited the day before to see if I’d left my glasses. No luck. I had a minor moment of panic inside, but told myself they’d turn up. I squeezed in a quick workout then rushed off to teach my yoga class, shooting off a text to my friend asking if I’d left them at her place.
I rushed home for a client call and just before I hopped on, I realized that my anxiety was completely ridiculous. If I could get through cancer, I could certainly handle a little weather. Chemo brain aside, I could track down my sunglasses – there were after all only a couple places they could have wound up.
Rather than panic about the flight, I told myself I could sort this out and get everything done. And if I could book a trip to Brazil and make it happen within 24 hours – visa and Christmas and all – then I could sort out a flight to Florida. I went back to my old mantra: You got this. My friend texted back: the sunglasses were there! Woot!

perspective mindset costa rica

Mindset Magic

As soon as I got off the client call, I got on the phone with United. Within minutes, I changed my flight and was all set to fly Thursday morning. I got in touch with my hairdresser – the forecast for the morning looked manageable, and yes he would still be open. Things were falling into place. Then my massage therapist texted me asking if I wanted to squeeze in a massage that night before my trip as we’d not been able to get one in the past couple weeks and my back was crying for help – Yes please! Unexpected bonus that I had time for it now that my flight was pushed back.
Sure enough, yesterday morning the weather held out just long enough for the haircut. Snowmaggedon Bonus – the roads were empty and there was no traffic getting into or out of the city, and I had no trouble finding free street parking on the same block as the salon. I was winning. I got back just as the snow began falling hard. It dumped all afternoon, but by then my hair was done and I was warm and cozy. All I had left to do was organize and pack.
This morning I woke up early to plowed streets, a shoveled walk, and blue skies and sunshine. There was no traffic getting to the airport, and no signs of delay. Aside from a delay from the refreshments truck (yes – our plane was delayed to make sure we were stocked with coffee and pretzels…) the morning went incredibly smoothly considering it was the day after a giant snowstorm. I didn’t even have to take my shoes off going through security.

The Power of Perspective

So as it turned out, things, in a way, worked out even better than I had initially planned. And it struck me that all I had to do was trust that things would fall into place, and magically they did. I went from anxious to trusting, and stressed out to accepting. And all of a sudden the magic began flowing. All it took was a little shift in perspective, and a little faith that I could handle what comes my way.
Perspective is so huge. It was a major lesson from cancer as well – our experiences are truly defined by our perspective. While I certainly had my ‘why me’ moments, as soon as I was diagnosed I was invigorated by my newest mission: survive. My gut told me this was not the end of my story; rather, this was an opportunity for me to shift the narrative and get things in high gear. It was time to get back to the business of living.
While I certainly experienced my ups and downs and major and minor stresses throughout, I maintained my optimistic perspective. I got back in touch with my purpose, my passion, my natural optimism, and my personal power. I would not just survive this thing called cancer, I would thrive.

perspective mindset costa rica

Making lemonade

I decided to make lemonade out lemons and see the silver linings in all of it. I decided to see the opportunity in my moment of crisis. I could easily have wallowed in my misery and the unfairness of it all, but I realized that would do nothing to help the situation. I focused on healing. I focused on me. I focused on the good in it all and maintaining this perspective of gratitude for what is and letting go of what isn’t.
When life hands you those lemons, it isn’t always easy to make the lemonade. But the process of learning how to make it is powerful – it’s like teaching someone to fish. If life always handed us the lemonade from the getgo, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to learn, heal and grow.
So how do I actually shift my perspective?

Here are a few simple steps I take to gain a little perspective on a situation.

  • Breathe. This first strategy is the easiest – just take a few deep breaths and reset. Breathing calms the system and it tames that monkey mind that can all too easily make a mountain out of a molehill.
  • Lighten up and laugh! It is very easy to take minor issues a bit too seriously. Finding the humor in a situation – or even an unrelated one! – can immediately brighten our mood and seem to lighten the load. And laughing just makes us feel better!
  • Let Go. Sometimes we have to accept that not everything is within our control. Like the weather – even if we have all our ducks in a row, there’s nothing we can do about a snow storm! But we can let go of those ‘best laid plans’ and work around the obstacle to find a new solution. Us humans are excellent at adapting – allow yourself to surrender to the situation and accept what is within your control and, more importantly, what isn’t.
  • Place yourself in someone else’s shoes. Shifting perspective can help improve relationships and communications – you see through their lens and understand their perspective. When you understand where they are coming from, it is easier to find compassion and bring meaningful solutions to the table. Depending on the situation, it can also help you cultivate gratitude for your own situation.
  • Write down what’s bothering you. Writing helps us get our swirling thoughts down on paper and can help us gain clarity about a situation. The simple act of getting it out may resolve some of the underlying tension, and seeing it on paper may give us a new perspective on the situation – it may not be the mountain that it seemed before. Writing can also help us creatively brainstorm solutions to a given situation.
Perspective shift can take conscious effort, but if the result might be magic, I think it’s worth the effort.
If you have any questions for me or are looking for some guidance in alleviating stress and anxiety and shifting your mindset, feel free to email me and we can chat and come up with a personalized game plan to get you on track! 
Life (Im)-Perfection: Masterpiece in Progress

Life (Im)-Perfection: Masterpiece in Progress

This Art Called Life There’s a meme I’ve seen going around on Instagram that says “You can be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.” It’s a Truth very much in line with the title of a post I wrote […]

Paleo Flourless Chocolate Cake

Paleo Flourless Chocolate Cake

The Magical Mood Boosting Powers of Chocolate Cake Chocolate cake makes everything better. Fact. And what makes the most better-making chocolate cake even better? Making it paleo. And making it on a Monday. I woke up with a serious case of the Monday Blues yesterday. […]

Cultivating Self-Love: Lessons from Aladdin

Cultivating Self-Love: Lessons from Aladdin

Lessons in self-love from Aladdin

Yes, I’m working Aladdin into a Valentine’s Day Post about self-love. Stay with me here. So my friend got free tickets to see the show on Broadway last night and invited me along. Of course I said yes. Because the Genie and a magic carpet ride on the glittering broadway stage – how could I not want to see that? Perfect #galentinesday treat.

But I haven’t seen the movie in ages, and while I remember all the words to all the songs, I had forgotten the smart humor and downright legit life lessons contained in the story. When I was younger that stuff was probably largely lost on me, but this is a definite Disney win on all fronts.

And the Broadway show delivers. But back to the self-love.

What Self-Love Really Means

Before I go any further, I want to define self-love. It is not about vanity or selfishness whatsoever. It is certainly not narcissism. Self-love means regard for your own happiness, and knowing your own self-worth. In order to cultivate meaningful, nurturing, and loving relationships and achieve success – however you define it, it is highly important to develop self-love.

Because a lack of self-love can land us in relationships and careers that drain us rather than lift us up. When we are not cultivating self-love, we often make decisions out of fear. Which brings us back to Aladdin.

Aladdin – Wealthy by other Measures

Aladdin is a really well developed lead male character, and a really great lesson in comparison and self-worth. He’s constantly comparing himself to others and believes he isn’t good enough as he is – just a common ‘street rat.’ He spends the majority of the story pretending to be someone he is not in order to gain the love and affection of Jasmine. We all know how well that works out for anyone.

He wishes for the Genie to make him a Prince, and he instantly transforms into a suave, wealthy jewel-wearing figure, bravado and all. He is just like every other wannabe suitor Jasmine has turned away.

But once he begins to act more in line with his own true nature, he ultimately proves himself to be the most honest, trustworthy, and upstanding character in Jasmine’s world. He wins her heart only when he accepts himself for who he is and owns it fully. What he lacks in fortune, he makes up for in moral fortitude. He exemplifies the notion that true wealth is not how much you have in the bank.

self-worth self-love inner beauty Aladdin

“Like so many things, it is not what is on the outside, but what is on the inside that counts.”

Jasmine – The ultimate Girl Boss

Meanwhile, Jasmine is a total badass boss of a woman.  She knows her worth lies far beyond the wealth and privilege her title confers and rebels against the confines of her station’s strictures. While she’s strong-willed, she’s also remarkably understanding and forgiving.

Aladdin needed a lesson in self-love and self worth. Jasmine was the role model. Each character shows in their own way that cultivating self-love and owing your worth is the only way to invite true love, wealth and happiness into your world.

Together, they truly created a whole new world.

Aladdin Jasmine self-worth

Filling your Cup with Self-Love

Self-love unfortunately isn’t a switch you can simply turn on. But there are some simple ways to work on cultivating self-love. Here are some simple steps:

  • Become mindful of what you truly need and want, not simply what others around you tell you you should want.
  • Practice quality self-care. Nourish yourself with activities that support your overall wellbeing and happiness, such as eating well, moving your body, getting proper sleep, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in healthy social interactions.
  • Forgive and accept your humanness. Imperfection is the norm; perfection is impossible. Accept your perceived flaws, mistakes, and failures with humor and grace and turn them into opportunities for learning and growth.
  • Live with intention. Even if you are not clear on your life ‘purpose,’ you can design your life with intention, such as to live mindful, meaningful, and healthy life. Make choices that align with these intentions, and learn to say no to anything that does not support your vision.

I hope that your day is filled with everything you love. And I hope that every day going forward continues to fill your cup of self love.

And who knows, you might just cultivate a whole new world of your own.

matcha tea latte self-love

So fill your cup by nurturing and nourishing you. Matcha and golden milk always help. And for those chocolate lovers out there… lots of chocolate too.

Check out these nourishing recipes without the nasties, because it’s always about the self-love:

Paleo Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

Paleo Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

Alll the Chocolate chip cookies please So we all know the love affair I have with chocolate. I’ve always had that sweet tooth, but chocolate in any form has always won. Chocolate cake. Fudge. Chocolate bars. Nutella crepes. Chocolate chip cookies. Melted chocolate. Chocolate truffles. […]

Life in Progress

My One Year Cancerversary

My One Year Cancerversary

The Preliminary C Diagnosis: Looking Back

A year ago today I received a call when I was at work. It was the director of the Lymphoma center at Columbia. I went into the bathroom to take the call. Gently but without mincing any words, he informed me that the preliminary results of my needle biopsy were in: I had lymphoma.  (more…)